Master has been very patient and gentle with me. i had asked him to be patient, to teach me and not to go from 0-100 too fast since i'm so brand new to all of this. He has been more than great. We have this connection where everything just feels natural, he knows what i need, what i can handle, when to push me. i just trust him so completely.
Well, life has been busy and i haven't seen him for two weeks! i was looking forward to today every second of every day. i was craving him to the point i felt like a drug addict. We talked about what we would do, about testing some of my limits, seeing how much of his sadistic side i could handle. i was beyond excited and just knew i was ready. i wanted to show what a good submissive i am for Him, i wanted to make him proud and happy to have me as His.
Well, today was amazing in so many ways. i got to kiss and taste Him, which i missed Soooo much! i felt safe and comfortable in His arms. i felt like He missed me just as much as i missed Him. It felt like we were one. . i don't know how else to describe it. We moved in sync and it feels like He hits this spot deep down inside me that i didn't even know existed, like He touches the very core of me, like He touches my soul. i shook uncontrollably in ecstasy. . . .
Then comes the pain. . . The testing... the part i've been so excited for. . . His hands around my throat, felt indescribably amazing. .. in my head i just kept thinking, He literally has my life in His hands and i trust Him completely. . . It turned me on so much, and He seemed to enjoy it. Then, He spanked my pussy, His pussy. . . Boy did it sting with pain, but i also didn't want him to stop, i was hoping that he was proud of me for taking it like a good girl. ... And then came the titty torture/abuse... i always thought i liked getting them played with roughly and that they weren't that sensitive, oh my goodness was i wrong! This was a shooting, sharp, stinging pain. i was writhing in agony, it was shocking and i know He could tell i was fighting it .. but, i wanted to please Him, i didn't want to be a quitter, i wanted to push through this. .. And then, He stopped, and He was quiet. Uh oh... did i disappoint Him, is He mad at me? A million questions running through my mind. .. after much thinking, and a repeat of all of the above, He asks (not sure if it was a question or a statement), if that was too much for me. i said no, and hey, at least i didn't cry! i think i was at the verge of pushing past the pain. Maybe 5 more smacks would've gotten me there, but maybe not. i trust that Master knows what He is doing and that He knows what i can handle. i hope that with time and His patience, i will be able to push through and handle more and more. i hope that i will be able to be the best submissive He could ever hope for. i hope i don't disappoint. . . .
Oh, one more thing, after the pain, when He was inside me, i felt this electric shock type of sensation.. it felt like it passed through or over my body. . Not sure how to describe it. . But it felt amazing. i'm pretty sure i said, "this is so weird" and "what are you doing to me" a few times today, as the feelings and sensations i was feeling were things i'd never felt before.
i feel so connected to Him on a whole new level. I feel 1000% more His. I wonder if that will continue to happen every time we're together...
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